What the Occasional Text Means to Her
I'm sure by now we have all realized how easy it is to send a message without ever saying a word. It is true that not saying anything can say it all. But what message is being sent by having little to no conversation?
I've experienced the occasional text more often than usual lately, which sparked some questions on the matter. Allow me to put this into context for you, let's say you have met someone and exchanged phone numbers, maybe even had a few dates. Every meeting you have had has went well and you find yourself making plans to meet again, but ironically that never seems to happen. Weeks, if not months go by. If that person then sends you the occasional "hey, what are you up to?" text out of the blue, you might find yourself questioning where you stand. Should I cross you off the list and move on or are you actually pursuing me? It's a valid question.
I guess I figured when you hit adulthood the childhood tit-for-tat games all come to an end, but in reality they were just getting started. And it's exhausting! So when it comes to the occasional once a month text, I have to ask- do you seriously think I would be willing to meet up with you?! You see, when someone drops communication with you altogether, it sends the message loud and clear. It sucks, but at least you know exactly where you stand. However, the casual text blurs unnecessary lines. We end up in some kind of weird text limbo.
The message this sends to girls- and I can only give the point of view from my perspective here- is that we don't matter or perhaps you are on the fence about us. No girl wants to invest her time with someone that is only half interested! In my case, the guy I was seeing would get upset if I didn't show up after being sent a casual text on a random Friday night to meet up with his friends. Tough shit! I'm not dropping my plans with friends to run to your beckoned call.
This type of behavior will almost always place you in the filler category, meaning you're just there on the sidelines until something better comes along. After all, no successful relationship starts with one person being strung along. You're doomed from the start if you don't respect the person enough to make your intentions clear. And if you don't no what your intentions are yet, just be consistent. At least that way the girl will know you are interested.
Michele is a former St. Louis Rams Cheerleader living in St. Louis. Follow Michele from the sidelines of the NFL to the sidelines of the modern dating world.