A few days ago, a male co-worker of mine, Kris, approached me with a question that later sparked a conversation with my friends and I. "How many drinks are too many when you are on a date?" I instinctively replied with "two". His rebuttal set me back in my seat. Kris said that as a guy you are always aware of your stopping points. The last thing a guy in that situation wants to do is feel like he's forcing a girl to sit on a date when she isn't interested. So, if the waiter comes over and asks if you'd like another round, if the girl says "no, I'm fine", the message she sends to her date is that she isn't interested in staying out and continuing to hang out longer.
Mind blown! I had honestly never thought about what message I would be sending to my date. In my eyes, only having two drinks was respecting my date and the potential of ever getting a second date. Who wants to risk saying or doing something stupid? I mean, I have been known to let my jokes go a tad too far after a few too many dirty martinis. This thought process brought me a new way of thinking. Have I been unknowingly pushing opportunity away?
Growing up I always remembered my Grandpa talking about his time as a singer. He played at many bars in downtown Nashville and he said that during that time he learned one important thing- there is nothing more unattractive than a drunk woman. Obviously when you are the musical entertainment for the night you get a birds eye view while on stage. My Grandpa would notice some of the most drop dead gorgeous women walk in to the bar that night, but by the time he was finishing his set, the women would be so drunk and sloppy that he would never consider approaching them.
So what is the happy medium on a date? If you enjoy your date's company do you cut it short after two drinks or keep the night going? Before having the conversation with my co-worker I would 100% say keep it to a two drink maximum. After hearing his interpretation of the message that sends, I have to admit I may rethink my answer.
It appears that we are constantly sending a message with our actions whether we are aware of it or not. So, what do you think? How many drinks are acceptable on a first date?
Michele is a former St. Louis Rams Cheerleader living in St. Louis. Follow Michele from the sidelines of the NFL to the sidelines of the modern dating world.